Just leave the dishes in the sink.

 As a new wife and a basically new mom who also works full time, I find myself constantly trying to juggle it all. From making sure my husband and son both have a good meal to eat, to keeping the house clean, to making sure that I actually spend quality time with them. My mind is always going full speed, like most women I’m sure. I strive to maintain excellence at work, without bringing work home, while also trying to stay fit and be a present mom. Not to mention, trying to look good for my husband, I mean I can’t always walk around looking like a ragamuffin. Most importantly, I strive to keep my relationship with GOD front and center in my life. I could never be the wife or mother I desire to be without him. 

 I find myself trying to check all of the boxes, and as much as I dislike admitting this, trying to be PERFECT. While I know perfection is unattainable, I'm constantly striving to have everything just right. I wanted to be sure I was being the best mother and wife while also being the best friend, sister, daughter, employee and so forth. And by best, I mean, having home cooked meals ready every day and having the house in tip top shape every day, even while my lively 2-year-old constantly yanks pillows from the sofa, spills his dinner and leaves toys all over. Can any of you relate? I'm sure there are some moms reading this. 

By best, I mean trying to attend every event my family has, everything my closest friends extend an invite to and remembering to call and text those near and dear to my heart. Adulting is hard y’all!

One day I found myself near tears from trying to meet the expectations that I had set for myself. I was stressed, exhausted and let’s just be real, tired of the day to day. I was so busy trying to keep the house perfect that I was missing out on valuable time with my family. I didn't even want the people closest to me over unless my house was in perfect condition. See, my husband and son aren’t concerned about the house shining like the top of the Chrysler building or having me as their personal chef. My closest friends and family just wanted to spend time with me, they didn't care if the floor wasn't swept the day they decided to stop by. All they wanted was quality time with me. So why had I set these crazy high expectations for myself? 

How could I strive to be more like the Proverbs 31 woman if I was falling asleep while reading my bible? Why was having a clean house so important to me? How could I organize my life and make this right? I couldn’t do it alone. I needed God to order my steps. I needed him to guide me.

What did God tell me to do, you ask? God put these things in my spirit. He reminded me that it was okay to leave dishes in the sink if it meant reading an extra book to my son at night. He reminded me that my husband would rather sit on the couch with me and relax than see me cleaning all day long. He reminded me how important it is to cherish each moment with my family.  He also told me to let my husband help, because he wanted to. Now most women know we like to clean ourselves because we want things a certain way, but I gave that feeling to God too. God told me to relax. He let me know that it was okay to say no sometimes. That meant I could not please everyone. I could not go to every event. Sometimes I would simply have to decline because I needed to rest and recover. That was hard for me, but that’s another topic we’ll discuss another time. Yes, God wants us to be good wives, and mothers, and good people in general. He wants us to care for our household, BUT he also needs us to rest and take care of ourselves so that we can fully serve him and our families.  I learned that I needed to be still. I needed to just sit in his presence and allow him full access to my life.

Things have gotten much easier since I handed my to-do list over to God. Everything isn't perfect, God never promised it would be. However, I'm learning to appreciate my life and cherish the moments with my family each day. Hey, if the house is a little messy, but I was able to play with my son an extra hour or two, my heart is happy. Although I love to relax in a clean home, watching a movie with my husband instead of cleaning like a mad woman will be chosen more often from now on.  So I say,  don't sweep the floor and leave the dishes in the sink if that means spending more time with your loved ones. Your heart will thank you and so will they.

PRAY. FOCUS. REST.

1.)    Drop everything and PRAY. When you begin to feel anxious or overwhelmed, it’s most likely because you’ve decided to control things. You're no longer letting God lead. You’re trying to be perfect again, let it go girl. Remember God loves you in spite of your imperfections. You can read these verses when you’re starting to worry or becoming anxious:

    

Philippians 4:6-7(NLT) 

Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.

Psalm 94:19 ( NIV)

When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought me joy. 

2.)    Focus on what’s important, the problem solver, not the problem. Focus on Christ. Your relationship with Christ should never be put on the back burner, but I’m sure we’ve all been guilty of letting the hustle and bustle of life let this happen at one time or another. We have to keep God as the head of our lives. God should always be number one. OPEN YOUR BIBLE. Let God's word comfort you, guide you and change your heart and thoughts. His word will help us get through our challenging days.

       2 Timothy 3:16-17 ( NIV) 

      All scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the servant of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work. 

3.)    REST. Although God wants us to be loving spouses and parents, he also wants us to take care of ourselves. While he wants us to be productive and helpful, he doesn't want us to just busy ourselves all of the time. When we do this, we can lose sight of the most important thing, our relationship with him.We often tire ourselves out from working too much, worrying too much and stressing about things that we can't even control. God wants us to find our rest in him. So, if you're able to, use your day off to catch up on some sleep or go to the spa instead of cleaning or running errands. Find a way to rest when you can. If we tire ourselves out too much, we'll be too exhausted to even pray or read our Bibles. Sometimes we just need to stop, breathe and let God restore us. 

       Matthew 11:28 ( NIV) 

       Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.